Mr. Lava's Trash Music Compendium

Another round-up of the best, the worst, and the most intriguing trash of the past and present.

(June 2002)         

Gigi D'Agostino - Amorelettronico
This is an especially beautiful tune from Gigi's Tecno fes. vol 2. His style, a combination of crisp techno production and heavy synth-based melodiousness, was so distinctive that the Polish Eurodance group Q-Bass/MP Project once released a "Gigi D'A Style Remix." While Gigi is perhaps best known for his covers, he demonstrates real original musicianship here.

Spiller - Cry Baby
Spiller is probably best known for "Groovejet," the house tune that dragged Sophie Ellis-Bextor from her indie band routes in theaudience to pop dance superstardom. "Cry Baby" shows another, weirder side to Mr. Spiller—some sort of electro-jazz-funk-fusion thing going on here.

Lady Bouncer - Dirty Mary
This song documents the thoughts of a working class girl employed by a phone sex company. It's a typically loopy Italo number, scored by telephone dial tones, memorably filthy lyrics, and a kick-ass synth riff that serves as the chorus.

Kabiria - Ordinary People
Another spritely Italo dance effort. Another one of those blink-and-you-missed it projects.

Rhythm Gangstar (sometimes written as "Rhythm Gangsta") - The Crowd Song (Original English Extended Version)
Song offers the essentials of a big room dance tune without any extra frills. Here, a woman with an Italian accent discusses her experience of visiting a club where there were "millions" of people with their hands in the air (it's a big club). Then come the walloping beats.

Scooter - Nessaja
Several folks I've talked to cite this as Scooter's finest accomplishment, where the synth riffs, motivational shouts, and pounding beats reach their most fertile convergence. Original song, a 1983 tune from Brasov, Romania-born Peter Maffay, was a much quieter affair (no shouts of "3AM!!!!!!!! THE PAINTED COW!!!!!!!" in that one).

Voodoo and Serano (Voodoo & Serano) - Blood is Pumpin' (Original Club Mix)
Voodoo and Serano demonstrate that the TB 303 still has plenty of life in it with their thunderous "Blood is Pumpin'," an acid/trance hybrid that troubled dancefloors all over Europe. It was re-released and re-mixed in 2005 with predictably inferior results.

Marc Van Linden - Clubbiemus
"Clubbiemus," with its tribal trance lushness, would make for good canoe-paddling music on the television series "Survivor." Ambient chorus in the middle is snagged from "Adiemus" by Adiemus, so the title of the track is a clever play on that. Mauro Picotto also used the "Adiemus" melody in the song "Proximus (Medley with Adiemus)" the previous year.

Creamy - HELP! I'm a Fish!
Danish pop dance tune, appropriately juvenile in flavor because a version of it was featured in the soundtrack to an animated Danish kids film. Title basically explains the premise: our narrator finds herself transformed into a fish. It happens. Belgian group K3 kicked out a Dutch-language version as "Blub, ik ben een vis"; the video to which is an incredible celebration of Eurotrashy glory. A girl group called Little Trees sang it also, and their version appears on the aforementioned animated film's soundtrack; confusingly clips from the movie also appear in the Creamy video. I haven't found a definitive chronology regarding which version actually came first, but seeing as this is not exactly Beethoven's 9th, perhaps I should just relax about that.

Red and White Crowd - Put Your Hands Up for Pierre
A cheeky reworking of the Black and White Brothers' legendary "Put Your Hands Up in the Air" (memorably covered in 2005 by Danzel). It is dedicated to Pierre van Hooijdonk, a soccer player from the Netherlands, a country whose team didn't make it to the World Cup in 2002. But put your hands up for the guy anyway.

Zuma - Joy in the City
Norwegian pop duo Zuma like cities and feel there should be joy in them. Song was written as theme music for a Norwegian TV mini-series, "Lekestue," which in turn was derived from a 1997 novel by Roger Kurlands.

Datura - Will Be One
A trance lullaby sung by a sweet-voiced woman to the cute little clubbing kids. Good night, cute little clubbing kids!!!

Vertice - Come Back
A Broadway trance song, i.e., something like ABBA but with thicker accents and bigger beats. Sweeping arm gestures encouraged.

Rhythm Gangsta - Crowd Song (Original Italian Extended Version)
Finally, Rhythm Gangsta wave their Italian flags with gusto as they offer the Italian language version of their massive track. Mama mia!

(June 2002)         

The operative word here is "sunny," as the image above suggests.

Phil Fuldner - Miami Pop (Extension Mix)
One of the sunniest dance tunes you'll likely encounter, with female vocals therapeutically telling you that you're "number one" against a backdrop of cheerful keyboard noises. Defies genre categorization--it's just a joy.

Baby Marcelo - Trabajame (Frank'o Moiraghi Ibiza La Troya Mix)
Thundering tribal trance number appropriate for listening as you drive your SUV through the Costa Rican rain forest.

Jazmine - Makes Me Go (Mmm) (Radio Edit)
The sweetest Eurosugar you will ever taste.

Swift - Feel Good
Girls happily exclaim, "Feel good" over and over again before they are joined by some swinging horns. The "VG Network" version is your streamlined, basic 12", but "Michi's Club Classic" adds the soothing, chanted words of a hypnotist. Your choice.

Byron Stingily - U Turn Me (Michael T. Diamond Remix Turn Club Mix)
A storming remix of house legend Byron Stingily's tune.

Marie N - I Wanna
Marie N's Latin-lite "I Wanna" gave her country, Latvia, top honors at the 2002 Eurovision competition. It is officially: OK!

DJ Tomcraft - Bang Bang
DJ Tomcraft doesn't know how to make bad songs. Or, perhaps more accurately, he knows just what to steal from Jermaine Dupri and Nate Dogg in order to make good ones. That's OK if the end product is "Bang Bang."

Jinny - Wanna Be With You
Jinny's voice on this Eurodance tune is so huge it's terrifying.

Safri Duo feat. Michael McDonald - Sweet Freedom
After the success of "Played Alive," Safri Duo could have taken their pick of any 1980's pop song for a revamp. So naturally these Danes with drums went for Michael McDonald's "Sweet Freedom." Huh? OK, it's the song from the movie Running Scared—remember? No? Starring Billy Crystal and Gregory Hines? What do you mean you don't remember? Anyway, here it is.

Gigi D'Agostino - Souvenir
Like a beautiful dolphin breaking the beautiful surface of a beautiful ocean, its beautiful skin shining beautifully in the beautiful sun.

Kosmonova - Dance Avec Moi!
"Dane avec moi!" she cries out over and over. She gets downright pushy. You'd better join her before she ties your girlfriend to a chair and pushes her into a swimming pool.

Laut Sprecher feat. Katie Skate - Omnibus
Laut Sprecher enlists the aid of 3 year-old Katie Skate to create the cutest German dancefloor anthem since the BRD and DDR merged. Sounds like Darude with an actual melody. It's when the song goes into half time, then slowly speeds up to its previous tempo, that it really knocks the ball out of the park. Ich fahr "Omnibus"!

DJ Sammy feat. Carisma - Sunlight
DJ Sammy asked Carisma to sing a song about "Sunlight" and how pretty it is when it's not shining directly into your eyes, but instead is coming in more at an angle, perhaps originating from some point behind you so that it doesn't hurt so much. Sunlight can also be an alternative energy source, but Carisma doesn't address this in her lyrics.

Millane Fernandez - Boom Boom
Second Millane Fernandez single written and produced by Modern Talking's Dieter Bohlen. Cute to an almost sickening degree.

The compendiums:

2001 06/07
2001 08
2002 01
2002 01
2002 01/02
2002 04
2002 06
2002 09
2002 10/11
2002 12/2003 01
2003 02
2003 03/04
2003 05/06
2003 06
2003 08
2003 09
2003 10/12
2004 02/07
2004 07/09
2004 11
2004 12
2005 01/03
2005 05/09
2005 09
2005 12
2006 03
2006 06/09
2006 11/12
2007 01/03
2007 04/05
2007 06/07
2007 09/10
2008 01
2008 04/06
2008 06/07
2008 09/12
2009 02
2009 04/06
2009 08/09
2009 10/11
2010 01
2010 02/03
2010 04/07
2010 08/10
2010 11
2011 01/03
2011 04/05
2011 06
2011 09

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