Mr. Lava's Trash Music Compendium

Another round-up of the best, the worst, and the most intriguing trash of the past and present.

(Oct. 2003)

Winter is just around the corner, and we say bring it on, maaahhhnnnn!!!

Adam Freeland - We Want Your Soul
It is good to hear that Bill Hicks is alive and well and living (dis)contentedly in Adam Freeland's "We Want Your Soul." Catchy, clever, and, well, kind of creepy!

Jonathan Jay - Ready (Promise Land Radio Mix)
Jonathan Jay's "Ready" (Promise Land Radio Mix) is another one of those delightfully non-sensical Italo anthems that we at "Eurotrash or Eurotreasure?" like so very fucking much!

Dallas Superstars - Fast Driving
Sounds like our Finnish friends the Dallas Superstars drew inspiration from the lyrics for Felix da Housecat's "Silver Screen (Shower Scene)" in order to create the pounding dancefloor number they call "Fast Driving." They went a little overboard on the explosion sound effects, how can we mind?

Electric Six - Dance Commander (Benny Benassi Satisfaction Remix)
Benny Benassi was everywhere in 2003 both as a remixer and a producer of original material. The best song that bears his imprint is Electric Six's "Dance Commander" (Benny Benassi Radio Mix), which transforms the gleefully silly original into something guaranteed to give everyone around you, your iPod, and your flailing limbs bloody noses.

Alex Effe feat. Nikole - Musica Electronica
"Musica Eletronica" is sort of "Discoteca Part II" (see Volume 25). It was crafted by Alex Effe, with vocal help from Nikole, and marries a bouncy boom-boom beat with hypnotic Italian lyrics. Excellent!

Goldfrapp - Strict Machine
At "Eurotrash or Eurotreasure?" we fear for [Alison] Goldfrapp's sanity. "Strict Machine" finds our heroine extolling the virtues of a sadomasochistic robot vibrator. Please, Alison, get help, before I have to cover every square inch of your body with burning kisses you hot bitch in cyber-heat you!

Tomcraft - Brainwashed (Call You)
Tomcraft returns with his most entertaining tune since last year's single of the year "Overdose." "Brainwashed" is another superbly produced piece of pop techno that manages to be both smooth and flavorful. Tomcraft walks the line better than anybody, which is why everybody loves Tomcraft!

Aurora feat. Naimee Colemann - Sleeping Satellite
Aurora (with Naimee Colemann) gave us a quality version of Duran Duran's "Ordinary World" a few years back that basically defined pop trance (and found a spot on DDR Max). Now they return with a driving cover of Tasmin Archer's "Sleeping Satellite," and it ain't bad at all no sir!

Martin Solveig vs. Salif Keita - Madan
"Madan" brings African pop music into the house mix, thanks to Martin Solveig's desire to scuffle with the legendary Salif Keita. Expect one thousand knock-offs, if this isn't a knock-off of something else already.

Sweet Coffee - Don't Need You
Sweet Coffee's "Don't Need You" is one of the top songs of 2003, and brings with it some qualities that remind this pigeon of Dominica's classic "Gotta Let You Go." It's "that dancefloor diva's gonna wash that man right outta her hair."

Ultra Nate - Brass in Pocket (C Dock Style mix)
I really enjoyed the karaoke scene in the movie Lost in Translation, especially when cute Scarlett Johansson sang The Pretenders' "Brass in Pocket." That same song got housed-up by Ultra Nate this summer, and the wacked-out C Dock Style mix is my fave.

Laze - Steppin' Out
Laze's "Steppin' Out" is a sort of Riverdance take on the Safri Duo thing, where the former's dancing feet take the place of the latter's bongos.

Fast Food Rockers - Say Cheese! (Smile Please)
The Fast Food Rockers were previously banned from the compendium for delivering one "McDonald's/Pizza Hut" song too many for us to handle, but their "Say Cheese! (Smile Please)" is actually a decent piece of uplifting UK fluff. It won't change the world, but it is a pleasant enough diversion from it.

DJ Red 5 - Da Beat Goes - Reanimated (DJ Red 5 Meets Dany Wild mix)
One of the biggest, baddest, craziest dance songs of the season is the revamped DJ Red 5's "Da Beat Goes - Reanimated" (DJ Red 5 Meets Dany Wild mix). It is packed with creamy techno goodness and echoes the glory days of rave.

(Dec. 2003)

Although Heintje's all grown up, now, he is the perennial darling of Holland and Germany and—let's face it—probably Michael Jackson's favorite singer. We salute this prodigy with a selection of terrific tunes, new and old, gathered during my recent trip to Europe.

Frederik Schickowski - Mein Kleines Pony
My hosts in Berlin assembled a kick-ass CD of their favorite German songs (the couple will remain unidentified until this music piracy business settles down). Frederik Schickowski's "Mein Kleines Pony" is a wee little MOD tune (in other words, it sounds like a 1983 Atari game) that evokes images of a pony springing about adorably in a field.

Tocotronic vs. Console - Freiburg V3.0 (Radio Europe)
Also from Claudi and Alex—whoops, I mean "from the unidentified couple" comes Tocotronic vs. Console's "Freiburg V3.0 (Radio Europe)" wherein a shy computer warbles about being all alone, although it thinks it's even cool. Tocotronic's original was a dark, dirge-like rock song; this sprightlier electronic take tosses in the theme music from "Suspiria" just for kicks.

Benny Benassi - Love is Gonna Save Us
The best song on Benny Benassi's Hypnotica is "Love is Gonna Save Us," which includes that "What Time is Love?" riff we never tire of.

No Angels - Feelgood Lies
Hey, message to anyone dating any of the ladies in German girl group No Angels: They're celebrities, and they make a lot of money, so if you can tie the knot with any of them and then invest your wife's earnings shrewdly you too could make a lot of money. So why fuck up a good thing with your "Feelgood Lies"?

Sugababes - Whatever Makes You Happy
Continuing our theme of pissed-off girl groups, "Whatever Makes You Happy" sounds almost exactly like Sly Fox's minor hit "Let's Go All the Way" with a dash of Roxette. It's the only song on the new Sugababes album that comes close to approaching the wondrous mania of the best tracks on their previous release, but since it's really just a rip-off of some other songs, well, who cares? Disappointing, but hey, I always have my Heintje CD's to fall back on.

Panjabi MC - Jogi
Panjabi MC's other song is "Jogi"; a bouncy bit of beatbox bhangra. Male and female vocals groove alongside a hysterical guy who shouts "COME ON!"

911 - More Than a Woman
In Amsterdam I paid 1,00 € for a double CD of Top of the Pops hits from 1998, and it was certainly worth it. How else would an American like me have ever been made aware of 911's cover of the Bee Gee's legendary "More Than a Woman"?

Bus Stop - Kung Fu Fighting
...or Bus Stop's take on "Kung Fu Fighting"? It's yer typical Eurodumdum revamp, with the sounds of the original chorus sandwiched between new (not so) original rapping bolstered by big boom-boom beats. Not dope, but certainly dumb enough to rock a party.

Junior Jack - E Samba
Junior Jack's Latin-tinged "E Samba" has been around for a few months, but it continues to rock Europe. The CD single cover features a woman's sweaty butt. Uhhh, right, very sexy . . .

Paul Van Dyk - Nothing But You
"Nothing But You" marks the return of Mr. Sensitive, aka Paul Van Dyk. It's a beautiful bit of trance kissed by a breathy wordless vocal. It makes me feel soooo ambient!

Ultrabeat - Pretty Green Eyes
Ultrabeat's "Pretty Green Eyes" passes as a romantic dancefloor tune for the club crowd these days. I used to link to the Top of the Pops Ultrabeat microsite because the only official Ultrabeat site belonged to a dance music producer who made songs with "phat" beats "that praise and worship the Lord Jesus Christ." He shut down his guestbook in part because he is tired of getting e-mails about the band that produced the song mentioned here. True!

Lichtenfels - Sounds Like a Melody
Lichtenfels's "Sounds Like a Melody" carries the catchy Alphaville original into manic techno territory.

M.C. SAR and the Real McCoy - Run Away (Progressive Mix)
For an injection of classic Eurodance, I picked up a good 1994 double CD for a measly 3,00 €. It included a decent track from M.C. SAR and the Real McCoy called "Run Away (Progressive Mix)." Why encourage people to run away from their problems? What a horrible precident!

Laidback Luke - We Can Not Get Enough
The highlight of my Autumn 2003 dance hits CD (sponsored by Maxim, hence the bikini babe on the cover), was Laidback Luke's "We Can Not Get Enough," which continues the recent dancefloor trend of rock and roll trance. I hadn't heard from this guy since he did an excellent job remixing Green Velvet's "Land of the Lost" years ago. Welcome back into my life, Laidback! I mean, Mr. Luke!

Sham Rock - Tell Me Ma
Sham Rock's "Tell Me Ma" was the 1998 Irish tavern song equivalent to the Rednex's "Cotton Eye Joe." Utterly stupid, but it makes you feel good, and darn it, that's what this Eurotrash is all about!

The compendiums:

2001 06/07
2001 08
2002 01
2002 01
2002 01/02
2002 04
2002 06
2002 09
2002 10/11
2002 12/2003 01
2003 02
2003 03/04
2003 05/06
2003 06
2003 08
2003 09
2003 10/12
2004 02/07
2004 07/09
2004 11
2004 12
2005 01/03
2005 05/09
2005 09
2005 12
2006 03
2006 06/09
2006 11/12
2007 01/03
2007 04/05
2007 06/07
2007 09/10
2008 01
2008 04/06
2008 06/07
2008 09/12
2009 02
2009 04/06
2009 08/09
2009 10/11
2010 01
2010 02/03
2010 04/07
2010 08/10
2010 11
2011 01/03
2011 04/05
2011 06
2011 09

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