Mr. Lava's Trash Music Compendium

Another round-up of the best, the worst, and the most intriguing trash of the past and present.

VOLUME 35
(July 2004)
         

It's been three years since we began "Eurotrash or Eurotreasure?" Let's celebrate!

Hitmatyze - The Beat
2002
Hitmatyze are a U.S. west coast outfit producing Eurodance-style tracks with the requisite female vocals and male raps. "The Beat" is my favorite dumb delight.

Girls Aloud - The Show (Tony Lemezma Club Mix)
2004
Conventional wisdom would have it that a girl group assembled on a UK TV talent show would suck. But from the get-go Girls Aloud has demonstrated surprising edginess. Now comes their masterpiece, their pièce de résistance, their David, their Middlemarch, holy shit can you tell I'm excited about this? It's "The Show," a walloping electro production with two huge hooks (that's two more than most pop tunes deliver these days). Sure, you can pick on some of the lyrics (yes, a line can always rhyme with itself), but this is one of the best tracks of 2004.

Bon Tino - Der Reiter (Italo Reiter Edit)
2004
Bon Tino's "Der Reiter (Italo Reiter Edit)" is an adorable tune suitable for playing in the cribs of Italian infants in order to prep them for their discotheque futures.

Collettivo Soleluna vs. the Planet Funk Collective - Do D'Freak
2003
Collettivo Soleluna take on the Planet Funk Collective in "Do D'Freak." Big beats, Italian rap; this is some macho dancefloor music, man.

Playmate - Mind Your Own Business
2004
Playmate's "Mind Your Own Business" is an Italo cover of a Delta 5 song that flirts admirably with both glam and new wave. The song boasts sassy female vocals and lyrical references to living in Florence. Go get it, tiger!

Mukkaa - Neebro (Flash Brothers Mix)
2004
The Flash Brothers, who hail from dance-crazed Israel, have been getting a lot of good buzz. Their superior remix of a 1993 progressive dance song by Mukkaa called "Neebro" demonstrates why. Harmonicas dominate the first three minutes while sinister bass chords build underneath. Then, spiraling out of a filter (oh, the inevitable filter) comes a stunningly lovely melody driven by percussive whip cracks. Hee-ya! Move along, dancefloor doggies!

Hilary Duff - Come Clean (Flood Mix)
2004
I first heard it at a sushi restaurant in Atlanta, scribbled some of the lyrics onto a napkin, and then Googled the song's identity. It turned out to be a monster trance remix of, ahem, Hilary Duff's "Come Clean." This "Flood Mix" was cooked up by Chris Cox of Thunderpuss 2000 fame. After buying the CD single and not finding it on there, I learned that it has not been officially released. Use your P2P shamelessly. (UPDATE: This track was officially released in Spain.)

Ele Project - Master Sexy
2004
Ele Project kick out another Benassi-sounding thing with "Master Sexy," but this one has its own particular charms that make it worth a plug.

Bel Amour - Bel Amour (Instrumental Mix)
2001
I have long been a fan of Bel Amour's "Bel Amour," but failed to bring it up in the compendium section, so this is catch-up time. I prefer the instrumental mix, a dreamy, sexy slice of Euro-house featuring a woman enjoying a perpetual orgasm in the background.

B.M.C. - Fly So High (Ensaime Remix)
2004
With "Fly So High (Ensaime Remix)," Italo artists B.M.C. take a sample of Kool and the Gang's classic party tune "Celebration" and toss a whole new vocal on top. Hard to hate.

Cappella - Angel (Angel's Anthem Mix)
2003
Classic Eurodance outfit Cappella returns with the smashing "Angel (Angel's Anthem Mix)," which bares more than a passing resemblance to Charly Lownoise and Mental Theo's classic "Wonderfull [sic] Days."

Heartclub feat. Ian Lex) - Don't Go Breaking My Heart
1993
Heartclub (featuring Ian Lex) gave us a handful of Italo remakes of popular tunes during the 1990's. One of those was of Elton John's "Don't Go Breaking My Heart." It really works on a dancefloor, as I learned firsthand at Michael's and Sven's party several months ago.

Double You - Please Don't Go
1992
Double You's legendary trash updating of KC and the Sunshine Band's "Please Don't Go" is a classy way to wrap up three years of "Eurotrash or Eurotreasure?"


 
VOLUME 36
(Sept. 2004)
         

Impressive. As of this entry, we have reviewed over 500 slabs of mind-numbing Trash in these compendiums!

2 Black - Waves of Luv (In Alto Mare)
2004
2Black's "Waves of Luv (In Alto Mare)" is a slinky R&B-ish number sung in Italian and English. Had a boisterous Polish rapper been included this already good song would have become a masterpiece. Also comes in dance mixes.

African Connection - Ami Oh
2004
The French are particularly fond of African pop music (their top 40 is filled with it). African Connection's "Ami Oh" is a fine example of this joyful sound.

Beenie Man - Good Ohh (Gregory Remix)
2004
Once a party-goer accused me of playing too much gay house. I told him that my target audience was Slovenian teenagers, not gays. However, I admit that I love Beenie Man's "Good Oh (DJ Gregory Remix)," and that that tune was used as music for a very gay black dance troupe in Atlanta's Piedmont Park this past weekend. Incidentally, this is sort of ironic, since Beenie Man is a raging homophobe.

Moonlight vs. Azoto - San Salvador
2004
In March I bought a great 12" Latin-house record by Shana Moon called "Teasing." Well, it turns out that a lot of good new stuff is actually old. A few months later I was hearing a group called Moonlight using the same source material that Shana Moon did. That source turns out to be a 1979 Italo disco track by Azoto called "San Salvador."

Marly - You Never Know (Morjac Radio Edit)
2004
Marly's "You Never Know (Morjac Radio Edit)," sounds sort of like Kylie Minogue backed by crashing piano chords. Kenny Hayes turns in a beautiful trance take on the tune as well, and the Progheadz mix features ambient soundscapes sure to resurrect stoned memories. In other words, a complete package of a single.

Farolfi vs. Gambafreaks - Subtravel (Gambafreaks Vs Fedo Club mix)
2004
A lot of folks like to sample 1980's tunes and Italo dance them up. Nobody is better at this than Farolfi (his "Sun Rising In the USA" was one of my top tunes from 2002). Now, with Gambafreaks (whom he "versus") he does it again, offering the insanely cheery "Subtravel (Gambafreaks Vs Fedo Club mix)," which samples Eighth Wonder's "Use Me," an obscure 1980s tune featuring Patsy Kensit on vocals. Now that's what I call digging through your record crate!

Astroboys - A Not Satisfied
2004
Divine's "Native Love" marks another obscure chapter in the history of 1980s dance music. I recall that its boisterous male chorus was sampled by a Skint records artist (Fatboy Slim? Hardknox? I've been digging through my old CDs trying to track it down). Now Italo freaks Astroboys have done their own take on the tune with "A Not Satisfied." Funny; it samples the original song wherein the guys repeatedly shout "His native love is restless and I'm just not satisfied," but the female singer the Astroboys added repeatedly chants, "His native love is restless and I'm not just satisfied." These sorts of grammatical errors only enhance the nu-Italo experience!

Danzel - Pump It Up
2003/2004
Danzel's "Pump It Up" is heavily rocking the Italo dancefloors and will probably cross the borders of several other trembling countries. It's an old skool sounding stomper of the highest order. From a Belgian "Idol" finalist, no less.

Rank 1 - It's Up to You (Symsonic)
2003/2004
Two years ago I recommended a song of Rank 1's called "Cosmomatic." It seems Rank 1 has reworked that same melody, adding a vocal and one more goose-bump evoking chord, to create "It's Up to You." It was good before; it's good now.

Dynamic/Outfly - La Marche de la Lune (Extended Edit)
2003
The story goes that Swedish trashers Dynamic offered "La Marche de la Lune" (and its oxymoronic "extended edit") on MP3.com. The tune was so successful that it landed the group a record deal. Because they got a new vocalist, they changed their name to Outfly (which is not as good a name as Dynamic). Any way you can get it, the tune is exhilerating.

Element Four - Big Brother UK TV Theme
2000
As "Big Brother Part 764" is being aired in the United States right now, you might as well experience one of Paul Oakenfold's (and Andy Gray's) rare good efforts, under the name Element Four: It's the "Big Brother UK TV Theme"!!! Huge hooks and a wonderfully inventive melody too interesting for a show like "Big Brother" dominate. Note: Screaming "Big BROTHER!!!!!" at random moments as the tune plays is guaranteed to annoy everyone. Song was released in Australia under the name "Tast-E" (thanks fellow Wikipedian).

Yoji Biomehanika - Look @ The Heaven 2000
2000
The jolliest happy-trance-ish song you could ever hope to find, this 9 minute+ ode to joy comes by way of a flamboyant Japanese DJ. We can call this tune "J-trash"!

Steps - 5, 6, 7, 8
1998
Steps' "5, 6, 7, 8" was the first single from the UK pop tarts. It blended squaredancing and Eurodance. Yes, true Eurodance devotees, it rode the coattails of the (vastly superior) Rednex, but as the years go by (this is from 1998) it has become an increasingly interesting representative of the classic UK trash sound. Considered by many to be one of the worst songs of all time.

Eiffel 65 - Voglia da dance (all night)
2004
Eiffel 65: you're either with 'em or against 'em. Their "Voglia da dance (all night)" is a lovely homage to the dancefloor—or maybe it's just sappy. The final minute is incredibly clever—or maybe it's jaw-droppingly awful. Cast your vote in November's election!

The compendiums:

2001 06/07
2001 08
2002 01
2002 01
2002 01/02
2002 04
2002 06
2002 09
2002 10/11
2002 12/2003 01
2003 02
2003 03/04
2003 05/06
2003 06
2003 08
2003 09
2003 10/12
2004 02/07
2004 07/09
2004 11
2004 12
2005 01/03
2005 05/09
2005 09
2005 12
2006 03
2006 06/09
2006 11/12
2007 01/03
2007 04/05
2007 06/07
2007 09/10
2008 01
2008 04/06
2008 06/07
2008 09/12
2009 02
2009 04/06
2009 08/09
2009 10/11
2010 01
2010 02/03
2010 04/07
2010 08/10
2010 11
2011 01/03
2011 04/05
2011 06
2011 09



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