Mr. Lava's Trash Music Compendium

Another round-up of the best, the worst, and the most intriguing trash of the past and present.

VOLUME 40
(Jan. 2005)
         

Go, Largo Winch! Let's pay homage to the greatest (and only?) Eurotrash graphic novels ever created. And the TV spin-off was more fun than its detractors would have you believe.

Michael Colombier - Largo Winch Main Title
2001
The theme music for the "Largo Winch" television series was composed by Michel Colombier, who once worked with Serge Gainsbourg back in the day. It's kinda orchestral, kinda industrial, and totally Euro!

Skool Bastards - Ca, c'est vraiment toi
2004
Skool Bastards deliver a sinister punk rock/big-beat hybrid with the pounding "Ca, c'est vraiment toi." Who knew the French could be such bad-asses?

Royal Gigolos - No Milk Today
2004
Another Benassi-esque/classic pop marriage: Royal Gigolos' take on Herman's Hermits' "No Milk Today." Sounds exactly like you'd imagine.

David Guetta - Stay
2004
David Guetta's "Stay" showcases the capable Chris Willis's melodramatic vocals to good effect. What do you call a male disco diva, anyway? Ah, a "divo." Makes sense!

Olav Basoski - Waterman (Original Dub Mix)
2004/2005
How can you not love someone named "Olav Basoski"? His "Waterman" sounds an awful lot like one of those "exotic" records my father purchased back in the 1960's. In fact, it samples an early 80s reggae tune from Sister Nancy. Nutty!

Robyn - Do You Know (What It Takes)
1997
Let's slow things down with sultry Swede Robyn, whose 1997 offering "Do You Know (What it Takes)" sounds like a deep-kissing cousin to Mandy Moore's "Candy." Surreal and smooth, like fudge ripple ice cream.

Alcazar - Physical
2004
Alcazar use a chunk of Londonbeat's "I've Been Thinking About You" as the spine for "Physical," one of two excellent tunes they produced in 2004.

Giaga "Robot" - Every Monday
2004
This Giaga Robot has evidently been programmed to spout swear words. I can't pinpoint the source of its frustration. It seems to have a heavy aversion to Mondays (the song is called "Every Monday").

4 Strings - All Around the World
2004
4 Strings are one of those pretty-but-not-beautiful bands that do too much business these days. But "All Around the World," the best song on their latest album Turn it Around, is richer than their usual fare (as in: "It has a counter-melody!"). In short, well worth tracking down.

Naty - Toi Mon Toit
2004
Naty's "Toi Mon Toit" (original mix) is the heir apparent to Kate Ryan's "Desenchantee." Boasting cavernous synth chords and French-language lyrics, it takes the listener on a goosebump ride. Then, perhaps because she's overwhelmed by the magnificence of what she's accomplished, Naty freaks out. Is she speaking in tongues?!?!?!!!? C'mon, Naty! Snap out of it! She does, and she carries us over the finish line.

Dam Sweet - I Don't Know
2004
Dam Sweet's catchy but overly repetitive "I Don't Know" delivers the disco funk vibe—and that's because it samples its hook from a disco funk tune: Sweet Cream's late 70s track "I Don't Know What I'd Do (If You Ever Left Me)". You probably have to be a DJ to like this song, because when you have the power to mix you can employ my two minutes and you're outta here rule. Which also applies to Mylo's "Drop the Pressure" and Eric Prydz's "Call On Me."

d3d4 - I Get Around (Emanuele.asti@petra.extended)
2004
Another Benassi-esque/classic pop marriage: D3d4's take on the Beach Boys' "I Get Around." Sounds exactly like you'd imagine.

Articolo 31 - Nato Sbagliato
2004
Articolo 31's "Nato Sbagliato" is just the thing to sing with your Italian mates at the bar after a football match. And get this: it's a rock song, but it stormed the Italian dance charts anyway. Talk about party-crashing!

WestBam - And Party
1989
WestBam's 1989 classic "And Party" was the last track on a gift CD I received in 2003 from Alex and Claudi in Berlin. It is the best party song ever. So put that lampshade on your head and bust some robot moves!

 
VOLUME 41
(March 2005)
         

Three months in, and we're beginning to get this year's first bonafide 2005 hits!

The Go! Team - The Power is On
2004
...but first, let's back up and start with something we rarely feature on these pages: a talented band. The Go! Team kick things off with "The Power is On." It sounds like a cheerleading squad backed by a drumline jamming on top of NFL films music.

Boney M - Ma Baker
1977
A while back I championed Souvenir d'Italie's "People Come On." I might as well mention the song those folks ripped off I mean paid homage to: Boney M's "Ma Baker," which in turn was likely inspired by the movie Bonnie and Clyde. It's one of those story songs, and it features Ma Baker herself talking in a fingernails-on-chalkboard southern twang. It's stupid. So stupid, in fact, that I'll take Souvenir d'Italie's rip-off over the original. As of the 30 July 2006, the only Boney M on iTunes is a cover band that is not clearly enough labeled as such.

Global Deejays - The Sound of San Francisco
2004
Another Benassi-esque/classic pop marriage: Global Deejays' take on Scott McKenzie's "If You're Going to San Francisco" (the Globals are calling it "The Sound of San Francisco"). Sounds exactly like you'd imagine. If you actually knew who the fuck Scott McKenzie was.

Heiko & Maiko - Glücklich
2005
Heiko and Maiko give us something that sounds like a cross between Kraftwerk and Tiger Bay era St. Etienne. Melody had also been used in Sound De-Zign's "Happiness" back in 2001; it originated with Sheryl Jay's "Let the Beat Hit 'Em" in 1997.

Porno - Music Power (KP edit)
2004
Porno's "Music Power" is a fairly decent number with one ace up its sleeve: an aggressive MC who says "FON-kee!" He probably says it with a scowl, too. He's the tough guy in la discoteca. Hell yeah! I tossed some Duran Duran into my version to give it an extra boost..

Club - Deep Inside
2005
Those talented Italo lads Prezioso (featuring Marvin) and Paps 'N' Skar came up with a great idea: get a cool chick to handle vocal duties instead of a vocodered dude. The cool chick is Radio 105's "105 in da Klubb" host Francesca Faggella, who is wonderfully at ease switching between English and Italian (she's also cheerful, assertive, and [I imagine] a tiger in bed). They steal a chunk of Red Hot Chili Peppers' "Love Rollercoaster," which itself was a remake, and the end result is called "Deep Inside." The collective calls itself—well, it doesn't get any more basic than this—"Club".

Daniel Hoppe feart. Paul King - Love and Pride 2005 (Maxi Version)
2004/2005
Daniel Hoppe, who sometimes goes by an anglicized version of his name as "Hope", combines a swinging horn section with a wailing divo to create an infectious concoction he calls "Love and Pride." The track was partly produced by Phil Fuldner, who used to give us great songs under just his own name before retreating to co-songwriting and production duties on a number of other stellar projects.

Sun Connection - Love Me Like a Flower
2004
First off, the original version of this tune (the one featured in the audio snippet above) now seems to be extinct; it sampled directly from French disco legends Sheila and B Devotion's "Love Me Baby." The "official" version, with redone vocals, is a pale version of the sunny original. So, from here on out, a description of the original. You've got your disco funk thing, a shoutalong chorus of cheery girls, Galleon-style production, and some guy singing about being lonely in a bar when, deus ex machina-style, in walks a girl "lookin' like a movie star" (obviously this is a fantasy). Really superb, and quite sad that the producers were apparently denied the use of the original sample that rocked the original release.

Milk & Sugar - What Is Love?
2005
The prolific Milk and Sugar, who are perhaps best known for their take on "Let the Sunshine In" back in 2003, are now rocking the German discos with two lines plucked from a Howard Jones song, "What is Love?" and repeated ad nauseum through a filter. It sounds exactly like you'd imagine.

Sunset Strippers - Falling Stars
2005
Rocking Britain's Top of the Pops charts is Sunset Strippers' "Falling Stars," which contains a chunk of 80's sensation Boy Meets Girl's "Waiting for a Star to Fall." But another version of the same song was conceived a year and a half ago in Australia by Cabin Crew, and it is also in the current UK top 10. So, what the Sunset Strippers have done is a rip-off, right? Maybe so, but Sunset Strippers got the right to sample the original song and Cabin Crew didn't. Which makes the Sunset Stripper's version more "authentic." But Cabin Crew was there first with the uncleared sample of the original, and later got Boy Meets Girl to re-record their vocals for their version. ENOUGH!!!!! Both songs sound alike, so choose whichever the fuck version you want. On a related note: there are two versions of "So Much Love to Give" floating on the German dance charts two years after Together's version. If ever you wanted to argue that original ideas are dead in dance music, consider these cases, and all the 70's and 80's songs being remade, and you'd make a solid case.

Angel City feat. Lara McAllen - Sunrise
2004
Angel City featuring Lara McAllen has been troubling the UK charts for a while now with Cathy Dennis and Ready for the World covers. Now they're back with "Sunrise," a pop dance number with an uplifting hook and soaring female vocals. It could be this year's "The Way (Put Your Hand in My Hand)"!

The Lost Brothers - Cry Little Sister (I Need U Now)
2003—2005
Sunset Strippers (see above) also recorded under the moniker The Lost Brothers. Their "Cry Little Sister (I Need U Now)" is starting to chart in Germany. It's a cover of the theme music from The Lost Boys ("Lost Brothers," "Lost Boys," giddit?). It features some lovely break-downs where a children's chorus floats in—lighters in the air, everybody! The divo emotes way too much, but fuck it, you'll be on the dancefloor emoting right along with him.

Kate Ryan - Only if I
2003/2004
Welcome back, Kate Ryan. Her second album came out in Europe last year and just got a U.S. release. "Only If I" is the first single, and it's a worthy follow up to the best tracks from her previous album. Take this on the open road with the top down!

The Go! Team - Bottle Rocket
2004
They kicked things off, so we'll let The Go! Team shut things down with the most joyful song I have heard in, uhhh (safe answer?), "definitely quite some time": "Bottle Rocket."

The compendiums:

2001 06/07
2001 08
2002 01
2002 01
2002 01/02
2002 04
2002 06
2002 09
2002 10/11
2002 12/2003 01
2003 02
2003 03/04
2003 05/06
2003 06
2003 08
2003 09
2003 10/12
2004 02/07
2004 07/09
2004 11
2004 12
2005 01/03
2005 05/09
2005 09
2005 12
2006 03
2006 06/09
2006 11/12
2007 01/03
2007 04/05
2007 06/07
2007 09/10
2008 01
2008 04/06
2008 06/07
2008 09/12
2009 02
2009 04/06
2009 08/09
2009 10/11
2010 01
2010 02/03
2010 04/07
2010 08/10
2010 11
2011 01/03
2011 04/05
2011 06
2011 09



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