Mr. Lava's Trash Music Compendium

Another round-up of the best, the worst, and the most intriguing trash of the past and present.

(January 2008)         

Rock 'n' Roll dance forever!!!

Costa - C.O.S.T.A.

"Maybe you'll fall in love!" Sugary theme song from an absurd Dutch TV series called, as you could probably guess, "Costa!", which followed the antics of a group of club dancers at some idyllic Spanish seaside town (lots of bikinis). The 2001 movie and the series that followed is essential Tru-Trash for the hardiest of hardcore Eurotrashers. I wish you well in your quest to track those DVDs down.

Carlito - Carlito (Who's That Boy?)

Shockingly awful Spanglish pop tune that reaches "so bad it's great" levels. Sample lyrics: "I can sing and I can dance I'm very nice and hot and spicy/I have the looks and I can cook a taco." Horrifically hilarious. The video, which is usually on YouTube, captures the spirit of the tune quite well. Mr. Carlito is actually a Swede, and under another alias ("Dr. Bombay") he wallowed in Indian stereotypes with the minor Eurodance hit "SOS (The Tiger Took My Family)." No kidding; I couldn't make this shit up.

Ce'Cile - Rude Bwoy Thug Life (Cure Riddim)

Germaican records gets it name from a hybridizing of "Germany" and "Jamaica," and has released tons of dancehall reggae stuff. This track emerged as a 7" that came as a giveaway in some magazine somewhere. There's a lot of Ce'Cile on iTunes, but this superb tune, with its steel-drum interpretation of the melody from The Cure's "Close to You," is sadly absent (though the file-sharing gods have happily kept it alive). (I first heard this at a club on New Year's Eve in Ljubljana at the start of 2006.)

Shena - Electrosexual (Sheriff Remix Edit)

Super spooky/sexy slinky song. It's kinda like a 21st century version of Donna Summer's "I Feel Love."

Hilary Duff - Stranger (Jody den Broeder Vocal Club Mix)

This solid dance remix is floating around somewhere out there in cyberspace. "Stranger" had a great melody to start with, and now it has been given the extra oomph required to service Europe's most/least discriminating dancefloors.

Iris - The Way I Live My Life

Ameritrash group enamored with New Orderish hooks serves up the "True Faith"-ish "The Way I Live My Life." This is goosebump-good synth pop enhanced by a real edge that one won't find in, say, "Carlito (Who's That Boy?)."

Risque - Do You Believe in Heaven? (Infinite Beat Remix)

Astonishingly beautiful. The remixers struck upon the brilliant idea of vocodering the female vocal, tweaking it into lovely melody, and then adding reinforcing keyboards to compliment it. It greatly surpasses the original. Get this right now.

Therese - Time (Seamus Haji and Paul Emmanuel Mix)

It's been a few years since the first go-around for this single, which received good house treatments from such dependable workhorses as Stonebridge. Now it's been tranced up by two of the busiest remixers of 2007, and the result is a killer tune ready to storm 2008. Not sure if there's been an official release for this yet, but it's kicking around out there in cyberspace.

Audio Club - Sumthin' Serious (Radio Edit)

Maybe the best Ameritrash song of the year, this tune manages to exude a charming sort of sweetness while at the same time celebrating slutty dancefloor behavior.

Ali En - Taksnega dneva pa se ne...

Loosey-goosey floppy-armed rap from one of Slovenia's more interesting personalities. The Buddha-loving Tibet-freeing Ali En has left his hip-hop roots (and that alias) behind him, but his 1994 Leva scena album is still worth sniffing out (it even includes a tune that samples the whistling from "The Andy Griffith Show"—how can you not want to get this?). "Taksnega dneva pa se ne..." is my fave tune, and includes a nice guest vocal turn by a female singer to add variety. This cheery track has not aged one bit in 14 years.

Ruslana (Руслана) - Wild Dances

Ruslana, the pride of Ukraine, rightly conquered Eurovision with this song back in 2004. As one would expect with a Eurovision tune, it is packed wall-to-wall with big hooks and nonsensical English lyrics. It is not a ballad, thank goodness. Rather, it is a raucous, percussion-driven number with a hint of Sash!'s "Ecuador" in the synth lines. A few months after this won Eurovision the Orange Revolution swept Ukraine. Coincidence? I think NOT. (In fact, Ruslana wielded a megaphone in Kiev's Independence Square to cheer on the Orange crowd during those tense days. How awesome is that?)

Deck Raiders - Just the Way I'd Like to Go (Radio Edit)

Springy electro-pop-dance choon with an uplifting keyboard bit and featuring a snippet of lyrics snagged from "Ai no corrida." Not much to it (that's why I'm only recommending the radio edit), but what's there is pretty perfect.

Freemasons - Nothing But a Heartache

Freemasons have been a solid act for a few years now, but they never really delivered the oomph I felt they were capable of—until I heard the soaring "Nothing But a Heartache." This is their masterpiece, with pounding pianos, big live brass, and a totally bizarre/genius Supremes-like breakdown midway through. They throw in everything but the kitchen sink. Actually, I think I hear the sink banging around somewhere in there as well.

The Source feat. Candi Station - You Got the Love 2006 (Shapeshifters Radio Edit)

Gospel tune updated for the house crowd. Years ago I first heard Candi Station's voice as a sample floating around in New Atlantic's "I Know (Love Decade Mix)") way back in 1992. The tune from which that line was plucked was "You Got the Love," and now it's enjoying this full-on houseification. The ever-reliable Shapeshifters ("Lola's Theme") know exactly what to do with it.

Intermission - Piece of My Heart

I've said it before, but nothing thrills me more than finding an old Eurodance tune that sounds as riveting as the ones with which I'm more familiar. Intermission's "Piece of My Heart" has a wonderfully moody synth line, female vocals, and the requisite cringingly bad rap midway through ("Teardrops are in my eye/You laugh as I start to cry"). The true essence of Eurodance.

The compendiums:

2001 06/07
2001 08
2002 01
2002 01
2002 01/02
2002 04
2002 06
2002 09
2002 10/11
2002 12/2003 01
2003 02
2003 03/04
2003 05/06
2003 06
2003 08
2003 09
2003 10/12
2004 02/07
2004 07/09
2004 11
2004 12
2005 01/03
2005 05/09
2005 09
2005 12
2006 03
2006 06/09
2006 11/12
2007 01/03
2007 04/05
2007 06/07
2007 09/10
2008 01
2008 04/06
2008 06/07
2008 09/12
2009 02
2009 04/06
2009 08/09
2009 10/11
2010 01
2010 02/03
2010 04/07
2010 08/10
2010 11
2011 01/03
2011 04/05
2011 06
2011 09

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